IX : Let's pick up the pace. Let's make the parties longer and the misery shorter and shorter. Let's all go to #### in a fast car and keep it...SMART!

The Anxious One was sleeping. Or maybe she was gone for good?

They always hoped that would be the case, even all these years later.

The Writer was antsy to get to work on other projects. There were many other projects to dive into, so many interesting things to think about. The reader cat was off somewhere, purring contentedly on a pile of open books.

The Tragic Romantic was definitely still there, but she was dozing on her chaise under a copy of an article titled something like, "13 Things You'd Never Believe Actually Work." Nobody moved to wake her. She had a stack of half-written poems scattered on sticky notes around the floor. She would be really irritated to know that I found them and decided to include them here:

Note #1:
Steam of Consciousness

Note #2:
Fishing for Compliments:
Insulting yourself to gain sympathy is
the flirtation tactic of tweenagers

Free refills at the compliment dispenser

ample-ompliments

try to remember the times I've been starving for attention and validation. The times I've felt that, hey I just did something really great, and no one mentions it! A sincere compliment gives me an inner glow. So why would we be reluctant to compliment someone else? Unless it is undeserved or coming from an obnoxious person with an over-inflated ego. Then you can say "gee, I guess you are feeling pretty darn good about yourself."

[It looks like she copied and pasted that straight from some Quora article about it. I wonder how she was going to craft it into a poem.]

Note #3:

Ebonics phonics

Note #4:

Pessimist met Passivette
Going to the fair;
Says Pessimist, "You wanna date?"
Says she, "Don't really care."

[I guess this one will continue with the rest of Simple Simon met a Pie-man.]

Note #5:

"Things to lay on the altar of sacrifice"

Being right
Understanding everything
Being treated with equality and fairness as a woman
Expectations of others
Speaking freely and openly with most people
The delusion that people exist on earth that can understand me
Idealism
Optimism
Earnest desire to help fix the world
Comfort and peace

Note #6:

"How to be nice to Kate when she's really upset about something."

1. Listen carefully to what she says.
2. Ask for more details to prove that you listened, avoiding hints of disbelief.
3. Ask a critical, logical question in a critical, logical way, without immediate judgment.
4. Validate her logic by agreeing with what you can, even if you actually mostly disagree.
5. Keep listening through the emotions, even though they will probably be obnoxious. Keep asking questions.
6. If there's no solution to x, don't offer one.
7. If Kate found a solution to x that makes sense, acknowledge it.
8. If there's another solution to x that Kate did not see, which is very likely, approach it with very gentle, logical statements. Emotions, brute force, and least of all derision will NOT be convincing.
9. The gentlest, softest suggestions can end up having the deepest, longest-lasting impact. These are the words which are most likely to be played over and over again in her head, taken from many angles. Choose them wisely. It can be difficult to strike a balance between honesty and kindness; honesty should always be prioritized first.
10. Give her some time. Logic will win out in the end.

Note #7:

"It's Not About You"

You mean to say
"It's not about you"
That I can't be
Around you?

You mean to say
"It's not about you"
That I can't hear
your voice?

You mean to say
"It's not about you"
That you don't want
To talk to me?

You mean to say
"It's not about you"?
As if it weren't
Your choice?

"It's all about you.
It's only you.
And right now I'm trapped in this
Ominous mood.

And all that I say
Comes out tinted gray.
Your happy sunbeams
just shine in my way.

So, later. Bye.
It's better this way.
Not at all about you.
And have a nice day."

What else could it be?
It's all about me.
It's always, always
All about me.

My selfish, selfish
Selfish self
Can't even grasp
Anything else!

"It's not about you"
without a doubt
These words mean I'm
what it's about.

I've said these words myself.
- all lies.
Lies by mistake.
Lies despised.

Lies I wanted to believe.
"It's not about you,
why I should leave."

It's all about you.
And it's all about me.
There isn't another
Way to be.
The only
Possibility.

It's all about you.
I can't talk to you.
I had a bad day.
I've nothing to say.
I don't want you near
my terrible fear
I'm a terrible friend.
So instead, instead 

instead just
- end.

"It's all about you."
Words more true.
Words that hurt.
Words I hate.
Words I'd rather
You'd not say
Or better
Even contemplate.

So tell me instead
The lies in your head.
"It's not about you."
Alright, I said.

And it's alright.
And it's okay.

These stupid, stupid things we say
Which everyone, everyone knows anyway
Not even the tiniest little bit true.
Not not about me and not not about you.

***

"Can we be done now? There's a pretty long list of things I want to get done, and we haven't even started yet." The Researcher literally had three suitcases full of...are those papers?

"Well, yeah."

"What the...?"

"I've been making plans for what we should be doing."

"Um...okay..."

"There's a LOT of stuff to do! Like, all of our Czech stuff, editing the book - "

"We can't edit anymore today. We've gone as far as is allowed."

"Awww come on."

"No. We don't want to step on our collaborator's toes again. That was - that was really awful. Things are good now. Just follow his lead on this project and we'll be fine."

"But I just want to finish it! It's been two years..."

"Yeah - but there's lots of other projects to pour ourselves into in the mean time." 

If we pour ourselves into projects, if we direct this happy, positive energy into serving the people near us in our world, if we immerse ourselves in reading excellent, interesting sources of wisdom and knowledge, if we smile and laugh and make sure to exercise daily - 

Well, some problems still won't go away, but perhaps they will be easier to deal with?

It's so hard and sad to watch a friend suffering. I wish that there were more that I could do, but there isn't. Every time I feel that way, I just get on my knees and say a prayer. Directing my thoughts and wishes to the only source of power that is big enough to fix the pain in my friend's life. 

I am glad that the Anxious One is not around right now. Perhaps she will stay away? 

How is it possible for me to feel so sad for my friend and yet, it's not - it's actually really nothing like how it gets when the Anxious One is around. It's not out of control. It's not debilitating. It's not as painful. Even though there are no solutions, I'm not devoid of hope, which perhaps doesn't quite make sense. Hmm. 

"Writer, are you ready to go somewhere else?"

Yes, Researcher. Let's go.